CALGARY – To my pleasant surprise, all-star hottie third James Grattan (left) did not run for the hills when he learned who I was. He was aware of his “hottie” status thanks to skip Russ Howard, who actually showed him this blog!

James even offered to keep the Crotch Cam alive by promising to send other pictures, for apparently team New Brunswick has more stylin’ belt buckles in their arsenal.

And yes, that’s me in the middle. Pleased to meet ’cha!

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CALGARY – Can you smell what the Rockies are cooking?

Oatmeal, that’s what’s cooking. Plain, boring, blah oatmeal. Which pretty much describes the curling that has gone on at the Saddledome through Draw 14.

Thank goodness for Glenn Howard and The Shot (and Russ Howard and The Swing), or there would be very little to be excited about thus far. Let’s take another look at some event statistic to tell the story:

• The average points between winners and losers is still hovering around four.

• How about this for another stat: out of 54 total games, only eight have come down to last rock, and only one of those has gone an extra end.

I have high hopes for today, the final draw of the round robin. A lot of these games mean a lot of things to a lot of players battling it out for the playoffs.

While no one has seemed to be able to even test the dominance of Team Alberta (their average points over their opponents is almost five), at least we have seen some weakness in the armor of Ontario, via Quebec’s win yesterday along with close calls against Saskatchewan and the Territories.

No matter for Ontario as far as standings go – they are safe in their quest for the playoffs – but it gives a glimmer of hope to fans who are rooting for a little more drama in their Brier.

No one likes to be able to guess the ending of a movie when they are only three quarters of the way through!

And how do our Pros figure that the round robin will finish off? Click the graphic above to find out!

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TORONTO (Yes, Not Calgary) – Yesterday, Margo Weber pointed out the Dalene Heck scoop on Russ Howard The Broom-Bashing Maniac.

And the TCN Blog has another scoop for you today.

To preface, we point you once again to the Al Cameron story on the Russbash, and his reveal that a very naughty Brad Gushue will be paying a $150 fine – to the Sandra Schmirler Foundation – for saying bad things in his horrific loss to Ontario.

Brad actually said “Hit the guard, Gawddurnit” after third Mark Nichols gassed his peel, which was the third Newfie gakk of the 10th end.

We also direct you to this piece by the Canadian Press, which points out that bad boy Jeff Stoughton got an initial $1,000 fine back in the 2006 Brier – for accumulating offenses – which was eventually whittled down to some $250 or so.

Sorry, media boys. Your chump change amounts of athlete cash payments no longer register. Here’s our reveal.

The Canadian Curling Association is not fooling around. These boys, one and all, were read the riot act prior to the tournament and long before Russ could wind up for his tomahawk, BOOM! BANG! Both Gushue and Stoughton were fined $1,000, just like that.

Goosh was fined for the previously mentioned “Gawddurnit” and, while we haven’t yet heard what Stoughton’s offense was… suffice to say that sometimes Stoughton is just, well, Stoughton.

Russ may have received his notice already, or it might be coming today, but chances are he will get smacked. We shall see if the zebras take it easy on the living legend.

For you Saddledome observers: if you think you’ve spotted a chargeable offense, keep your eyes peeled to the carpet after the matches, where the officials gather. This is apparently when the notes are compared, and decisions are made.

For you TSN observers: sorry, you are S.O.L.

The CCA doesn’t release this info and has no intention of releasing this info. Unless, of course, this blogpost provokes some action on that front.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Media Benchers!

BOOM! BANG! CHA-CHING!

–––

UPDATE: There is flak coming back about the fines, with some Bench Boys insisting that official word on the fines is indeed similar to past years – $250 or so.

We like our sources, but the investigation continues …

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CALGARY – Here are my thoughts – ’cause I do have thoughts – about where we are after Draw 11:

• Alberta (7-0) – These guys are good. In fact, second Marc Kennedy is so good that John Morris and Ben Hebert don’t even bother cleaning his standard peels. They feign interest until about halfway down the sheet, then save their energy. They still have a couple of tough games left, but we may see them go undefeated in the round robin once again.

• Ontario (7-0) – Still excited about The Shot… although I totally called it. I’m such a good curler from my couch! Glenn Howard and Richard Hart have the highest stat percentage and that will make them pretty tough to beat. Brent Laing and Craig Savill made our All-Star Hottie team, so their week is already made. (Big picture here: they are World Junior Champs, World Men’s Champs, Dalene and Margo’s hot list. All that is left is the Olympics.)

• Newfoundland/Labrador (5-2) – Looking good to make playoffs. Found myself cheering “Let’s Go Grey Slacks!” in the stands today.

• Manitoba (4-3) – Flying under the radar. Bad Howard Tuesday. Can definitely afford another loss if they need it, but will have to pick up the pace come playoff time. And hey. Is it just me, or does KPark in a ’Toba jacket (CCA photo by Michael Burns, above) still look weird?

• New Brunswick (4-3) – Loved the broom-bashing on Tuesday. Loved how Dalene scooped the entire media bench on it, and loved seeing Al Cameron, full of bitterness and clouded by vengeance, rush to produce a lengthy story. Not sure why we all think it’s hilarious when Russ Howard snaps a broom, but when Johnny Mo does it in Hamilton, it’s a crime. Either way – awesome. Will we see more emotion when Russ plays against his old Olympic teammies on Wednesday?

• British Columbia (3-4) – Need to win every game. Skipper Sean Geall has had to make some tough shots. Not bad for a first Brier.

• Quebec (3-4) – I’ve been taking some serious jabs from my girlfriends about my all star hottie skip Jean-Michel Ménard. He needs to kick it up a notch – and fast.

• NWT/Yukon (2-5) – Play like they did Tuesday night we might see a few more wins out of these guys. Either way they will enjoy the festivities in the Big Four (or the locker room before they hit the Big Four). Think it’s cold here? It’s -30° Celsius back in Yellowknife.

• Nova Scotia (2-5) – No fire has been lit under Mark Dacey. Seems kinda ho-hum. Perhaps he should have kept the grey slacks he wore at his provincial. Whatever, it’s just the Brier. Have a nice flight home.

• PEI (2-5) – Hope you enjoyed your two wins – and the two ends where you were the TSN telecast game on Tuesday morning.

• Saskatchewan (2-5) – Wow, was I ever wrong about you guys. You can drive home.

• Northern Ontario (1-6) – Enjoy the Patch.

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CALGARY – So if Russ Howard is going to lose to his baby bro in a complete blowout, he might as well give something to the fans, right? After all, this is one of the most hyped games in the Brier, but seems to be falling victim to my earlier posting regarding complete Brier one-sidedness.

After giving up a steal of three going into the fifth-end break of this much-awaited Howard hullaballoo, Russ took it out on his broom (a la John Morris from a couple of years ago).

That broom, shown in a healthier state above (photo by MOI) is now in two pieces, after Russ bashed it on the ice, and then continued to throw the broom head around at the end of the sheet.

Brotherly love INDEED. Here, brother Glenn, take an easy win. In return, I’ll just take your spot on the highlight reel with my theatrics.

Fan just yelled from the crowd: “Drop the gloves Russ!”

Wonder if she reads this blog?

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CALGARY – In a joint interview with Peyton and Eli Manning after Eli’s historic Super Bowl win, Peyton had the following to say when asked if he would like to face his brother in the Super Bowl someday:

“Yeah, I’d love to kick his ass in the Super bowl next year. And win the MVP – league and Super Bowl – the world needs to know who the best Manning is.”

Peyton aptly ducked when Eli playfully took a swing at his head.

The only NFL contest between these two brothers saw Eli win against his older sibling in a close match. If all of the Brier predictions about Ontario’s Glenn Howard hold true, then we will also see the younger Howard beat up on his older brother, New Brunswick’s Russ Howard, Tuesday morning in a truly historic athletic contest between brothers.

Will an Ontario win over New Brunswick show the world who the best Howard is? Will Russ take his loss gracefully as opposed to vowing vengeance? Can we count on fists flying at the end of tomorrow’s match?

No.

Probably.

Probably not. But you never know with brothers.

This battle has been talked about. The media here in Calgary have gone to great lengths to point out that the last time two brothers faced off as skips at the Brier was way back in 1942.

But The Curling News – a dandy little newspaper if I’ve ever seen one – has scooped everybody with a couple of key points, as published in the March Brier issue that came out last week, and which is in some supply – but dwindling fast – here at the Saddledome.

The first is that the last time brothers faced off at the Brier – including non-skips – the year was 1995, the place, Halifax. Jeff Ryan played third for the victorious Manitoba team skipped by Kerry Burtnyk. Pat Ryan, now country music superstar, played third for Rick Folk’s defending champions from Kelowna. Burtnyk finished with a 12-2 record while Folk was 6-5. In their 11th-draw collision, Burtnyk shaded Folk 7-6 in 11 ends.

The second TCN scoop is that the only other known Brier brotherly debate – apart from them Campbells, Gordon of Hamilton and Don of Vancouver, in ’42 – transpired at the 1970 Brier in Winnipeg. Hap Mabey of Moncton skipped the New Brunswick entry and brother Roger played lead for Les Bowering’s Newfoundland squad. Neither team was a title threat.

The third and final TCN chapter actually researches the various head to head battles that Russ and Glenn have had in the past decade or so. Thanks to this, additional context is available for those of you making picks on whom will whack whom. That makes this stuff gold!

And it’s not even a finite science, as curling record-keeping tends to falter out of the CCA domain. The TCN editor tells me Glenn Howard and Richard Hart were both sourced for info on these recent tilts… and that they both imagined a game against Russ – at a Slam in Port Hawkesbury – that never actually happened. I kid you not.

So here’s the excerpt from the story in the March 2009 issue The Curling News concerning recent Howard battles, some of which also made its way into Sunday’s daily Tankard Times.

And good luck with your picks…

For the record, there have been seven “recent” battles between the brothers since 2001.

Three occurred at the Players’ Championship (Russ winning twice in 2001 and Glenn winning in 2005 (photo above by Ted Richards, click to zoom in) and two took place at the former Gander, NL stop on the Asham World Curling Tour, the Don Bartlett Classic, in ’02 and ’04 (split results).

There was also a battle at the 2002 TSN Skins Game in Grande Prairie, and an instance in 2007 where Russ jetted to a spiel in Portage to spare for Randy Ferbey (both won by Glenn).

So the youngster holds a 4-3 advantage heading into the Saddledome.

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CALGARY – Get yer Brier picks here! We got Scotty Pfiefer! We got Cheryl Bernard!

We got Grandma!

There are two kinds of picks in the sport of curling. One occurs on the ice and causes mayhem and anger. The other takes places in the days before a big event – like the Tim Hortons Brier – and it involves picking the winners. As in winners of games, champions of the entire event, et cetera.

Lots of “picks” have been made in the media in recent days. Many features have tried to analyze the two major combatants while others allow the players themselves – like Russ Howard – to articulate their own chances at success.

Othrer features seem to diminish Kevin Martin’s chances of repeating, just because the repeat doesn’t happen very often.

Of course, The Curling News features a repeat victory from 51 years ago in our latest issue… have you seen it yet? Anyone know if “Tay” Turnbull has seen it yet?

Research is also a key. Look at the cool Brier features at the National Post “Posted Sports” webpages… with team breakdowns here and this very cool Roadmap Through The 2009 Brier. This kind of stuff can be helpful.

Then, of course, there are media predictions themselves. And here are some from Winnipeg (here and here)… and from Toronto (see the sidebar alongside the main story)… and, of course, from Calgary.

But now… without further hesitation… what do the pros think?

Looking to make a little money on the games this week and need some help with your picks? Well, look no further! We’ve assembled a panel of local experts to assess the field and give their predictions as to who will walk away with a checkmark in the win column for each game. Check back every morning for each day’s picks!

Our esteemed experts are:

Cheryl Bernard – Cheryl has 4 Scotties hearts to her credit, and was Alberta’s representative at the Scotties held in Victoria just last week. Cheryl’s team has also been a dominant force on the Asham World Curling Tour, having placed sixth or higher in each of the last three years.

Dean Joanisse – A former Canadian Junior Champion, Dean has also made two Brier appearances, representing British Columbia in both 2001 and 2007. On Thursday night he managed to squeeze into that ancient World Juniors sweater – that’s right, sweater! – for the ceremonial first rock at the World Juniors now underway in Vancouver, his hometown.

Kevin Koe – Kevin is arguably one of the best Canadian curlers that has never competed in a Brier. Instead, he’ll have to settle for the $150,000-plus that his team has won on the Tour in only the last two years.

Scott Pfiefer – Five-time Brier champion, four-time World Champion, a couple of Canadian Junior titles, a few hundred thousand dollars won with Team Ferbey… need I say more?

My Grandma – That’s right folks. I can’t think of any other person in the world who has watched more curling then my Grandma, and boy, does she have an opinion! I’m throwing my support behind her picks, and if she happens to win me some money this week, then I might finally forgive her for the time she bet against me in junior provincials.

Brothers, boyfriends and hometown favourites aside… here are who our panel of experts are picking to win today’s games (see above, click to enlarge)!

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CALGARY – While curling fans across the country are resting up and getting ready for tomorrow’s opening draw, our Brier contestants were hard at work vying to bring home the bacon via the Ford Hot Shots competition. In this case, bacon = two year lease on a 2009 Ford F150!

All 12 teams were out in full force, none of them apparently subscribing to the Marla Mallet philosophy of skipping the Hot Shots in order to focus.

Several interesting things were seen and heard when hanging out at ice level for the preliminaries…

• When asked his strategy for the Hit and Roll shot, Yukon/NWT skip Jamie Koe responded with: “Well, I’m going to HIT that rock, and then ROLL to the four-foot.” Sheer genius! No wonder this is his third appearance at the Brier!

• It’s clear that Steve Howard inherited his dad’s lung capacity. Neither Steve nor dad Russ Howard seemed very concerned with saving their voices, as we were all treated to some vibrant bellowing. Steve showed some considerable on-ice skill, too, tying his Uncle Glenn (another Howard) with 23 points and was just shy of eligibility for tomorrow’s final.

• Referring to previously unsuccessful attempts at the Hot Shots competition, Alberta’s Kevin Martin turned to his teammates and said: “That might be my highest total ever already,” after he had made his third perfect Hot Shot in a row (scoring 15 points). Kevin did even better then that, finishing with a final tally of 25 points, qualifying him for tomorrow’s final.

• Ontario’s Craig Savill found himself on the right side of the inch. After it was determined there was a five-way tie for the last spot in the finals, the officials went to measurements taken during the Draw to the Button. Craig emerged victorious, beating out teammate Richard Hart and three others.

The eight finalists and their preliminary scores are:

Andrew Gibson (NS second) – 28
John Morris (AB third) – 26
Marty Gavin (Y/NWT lead) – 25
Joel Jordison (SK skip) – 25
Bruce Lohnes (NS third) – 25
Kevin Martin (AB skip) – 25
Jason Vaughan (NB second) – 25
Craig Savill (ON lead) – 24

Until tomorrow then. And hey… don’t forget that you can play the Hot Shots online, on your computer… and win a vehicle yourself!

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Here she is – Dalene Heck, Calgary curler (formerly competitive), writer/blogger and now special Brier correspondent for The Curling News. Installment numero uno.

Between her and Margo Weber… geez. The Tim Hortons Brier may never be the same.

Your Guide to the Tim Hortons Brier
by Dalene Heck

CALGARY – We are one sleep away from the first draw at the Brier! And kids, be sure that tonight’s sleep is full of good, solid, capital Zs. Nine days of intense cheering, heckling, and “patch”ing are upon us. The greatest curlers in the country have descended on Calgary for what will undoubtedly go down as the best Brier ever!

But first, let’s be honest with ourselves. We aren’t all finely tuned athletes like most of the Brier competitors. Whether partaking in the festivities firsthand, or hanging out with Ray, Linda and Vic for the week on the boob tube, the key to surviving the next 10 days is to pace yourself. You don’t want to burn out after the first few days due to an incessant hangover or couch burn.

Therefore, I bring you the “Guide To The Brier” – a round robin viewing schedule that will ensure you will have the endurance to last the entire week, with enough steam left over for the final weekend. Cut it out, laminate it, tape it to your fridge. Here is your guide to the draws you can snooze through, those that you need to see, and those that you must truly experience.

Have a snooze

Or, at the very least, go get some work done so that you don’t get fired for being a slacker the rest of the week. Whatever you choose to do with your time, here are a few hours that you can peel yourselves away from the action without missing a beat.

Sunday, March 8 AM draw – I don’t think you need my advice for this one… it’s the morning after one of the biggest nights in the Patch, so it’s likely you aren’t getting up anyways. There are only two games during this draw and it is early in the week, so they can afford to be missed.

Wednesday, March 11 AM draw – While this draw still contains some of the favourites, my prediction is that most of these games will be pretty one-sided and lacking any nail-biting action. Hit the snooze button.

Must. Watch.

Saturday, March 7 – Can’t beat the Brier opening day when we get a chance to see everyone flex their muscles and test the competition. Expect some strong statements to be made – floating through this event will not be an option in such a star-studded field!

Tuesday, March 10 afternoon draw – Here’s a good chance to see some potential contenders start jockeying for position, with Nova Scotia’s Mark Dacey taking on Quebec’s Jean-Michel Menard and Manitoba’s Jeff Stoughton taking on New Brunswick’s Russ Howard.

Get a babysitter, quit your job, jump on a plane, do whatever you have to do and get your a$$ to the Saddledome!

Tuesday, March 10 AM draw – The winningest skip in Brier history, Russ Howard, vs. his kid brother, Ontario’s Glenn Howard (who is likely going on to break some records of his own). This is a match-up you won’t want to miss as a mini-family reunion takes place on the ice… complete with a few excessively drunk uncles and third cousins making out in the closet… (oh wait, is that just at my family reunions?) Regardless, there are also going to be some other solid competitors facing off that will make this one that you want to be there for – including 2006 Olympic gold medallist Brad Gushue against 2006 Brier champion Jean-Michel Menard.

Thursday, March 12 – There is no excuse for missing any of Thursday’s games. With the calibre of curling at this event as high as it is, you can bet that there will be several make-or-break moments as teams make the final drive for the playoffs. The day is capped off with hometown fave and defending champion Kevin Martin taking on his arch Brier nemesis, Glenn Howard. This is a repeat of the 2008 Brier final, and perhaps a prelude to this year’s final? We shall see.

Buckle in, people. It’s gonna be a helluva ride!

(TCN March cover montage images by CCA/Michael Burns)

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CALGARY – I love the Brier.

I can’t get enough of it.

Every year at this time I watch the Scotties as a warm-up. And this year the Tim Hortons Brier is in my hometown, so I get to go and watch four curling games at once.

It might not be the best of the best in curling – although this year, almost – but there is something about the Brier that gets me every time. Whether it’s every province for itself, or those jackets and purple hearts, the Brier is the one event that gets me worked up.

But there is one thing I like best of all. And that is when a new Brier champion is crowned. I was never a Mark Dacey fan, but in 2004 when he beat Randy Ferbey to win his first Brier I jumped about three feet in the air.

This year, however, there are so many returning champs it’s hard for me to pick an underdog to cheer for. I have Kevin Martin lash at the best of times, so when he won the Alberta provincials I knew I’d be looking for someone else to watch. And Glenn Howard won two years ago, and also has a bye to the Olympic Trials so… yawn…. (haha, that didn’t stop me from cheering for Jennifer Jones in the Scotties final. By the way – YES!)

P.S. My husband is cheering for Glenn all the way.

We all know who is going to be there in the end. So instead of making picks I am going to list my hopeful dark horses. Yep, I’m going to focus on the guys who might make some waves and rattle some cages en route to the playoffs.

I like Brad Gushue’s chances to stir things up with his Newfoundland squad. He is intent on proving that his 2006 Olympic gold medal was not a fluke… he doesn’t need to prove it to me, of course, his team played great. I actually think Gushue – or Goosh, as I like to call him – appears to be a tad conceited…? I suppose he’s entitled, and I’ve always said you had to be a little weird to be a skip. But he’s never won a Brier, coming oh-so-close against Howard in 2007.

Obviously Jeff Stoughton from Manitoba is on a roll, and he’s a no brainer playoff contender.
Nova Scotia’s Dacey and Quebec’s Jean-Michel Ménard…? Nah.

Russ Howard and the boys from New Brunswick? Don’t feel it.

Left in the hunt are five other skips who have not represented Canada on an international stage: BC’s Sean Geall, NWT’s Jamie Koe, Saskatchewan’s Joel Jordison, Northern Ontario’s Mike Jakubo and PEI’s Rod MacDonald. None of them have ever come close. Okay fine, Koe narrowly missed playoffs a couple times. And Brent Pierce, third for Team BC, is a previous world champ, I know, I know. So shall I pick one of these five teams to scrape their way to the playoff weekend?

Sure. I pick Joel Jordison and his team from Moose Jaw to make the playoffs. They’re sitting at a respectable 10th place on the money list, and managed to get past Pat Simmons in the Saskatchewan provincials.

The Saskatchewan thing is really going out on a limb, but I would like to see a fresh face out there.

So there you have it. Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Newfoundland play off for the right to meet up with Alberta and Ontario. And I like cheering for someone good who has never won it, so I guess I’m a new fan of… Team Newfoundland? And I will convince myself for the rest of the week (as long as they are in the hunt) that they are my team. Because there is nothing I like more than seeing a new champ go ballistic when he wins the Brier. And would Goosh and his crew ever go ballistic.

For now, it’s Go Newfoundland Go. And that is the first time I’ve ever said that. Ever.

(CCA photo by Michael Burns)

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